What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
