Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
