You're my little dorito
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
