Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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