Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
