im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
