You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
