just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
