i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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