Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
