Already got asked if we're dating
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
