Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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