we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Randomize
