if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
