You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
