You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
