That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize