My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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