You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Houston, we have a squirter
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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