I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
