i just google imaged poop.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
