Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
