fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
