break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
