i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Be still, my beating vagina.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
