the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
