Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
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