I think I just saw someone hide a body.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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