And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
