I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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