Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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