My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
