y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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