the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
