so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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