i dedicated my morning wood to you.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
