it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
