I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
