just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
