and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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