my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
