piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
