i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
