Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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