there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize
