I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
