he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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