That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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