Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
