So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
