turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The adults are the big ones right?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
