As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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