his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
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But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
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The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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