I'm really into asian looking animals
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
