forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
