make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
